These past few days have brought home one of the true meanings of Christmas...family. Very dear friends have suffered through illness with a child for the past several weeks and the uncertainty that often comes with it. I believe that there is nothing worse than the uncertainty of an ill child when there seem to be no answers. The assurances of doctors and prayers of loved ones are a comfort but there still remains the fear that lurks in the back on your mind. Thankfully, all seems to have turned out quite well with my friends' child and their Christmas will certainly be merrier. I can only imagine the joy in that home this Christmas.
As for me and mine, this time of year is always a little melancholy. While the joy is definitely still there, the wonder that was once in my child's eyes as she looked at the tree is long gone. It has been replaced by the grown up knowledge that comes with young adulthood. She still asks for presents from Santa and Santa still delivers . . . as big as he can! But there's something about it that is just a little different. Thinking of Christmases past always makes me a little sad. I can't help but long for those Christmases of long ago when she didn't even doubt that what she asked for was under the tree simply because it was all she asked for. My heart is full when I think of how grateful I am that she is home with us and that these holidays are surely numbered. Changes are coming. It is only as it should be and is natural and right. That doesn't keep it from making me a little sad. Every year on Christmas Eve my sister, her family, and my family meet at my mother's home after we have spent time at my grandmother's. Every year it turns into big fun and there is always lots of laughing and good-natured fun. This year will be no different. But in years to come life and circumstances will surely alter our traditional Christmas Eve. I don't know where Erin's life will take her. John and I have always told her that wherever her life takes her will never be too far away for us to visit. But, when Christmas Eve comes where will we be? No matter our physical presence, our hearts will always be where she is...with her life and her family.
But this year the question most asked, "What do you want for Christmas?" is easy for me. I think of my friends who have worried so over their child this past month and know the answer to that question. What do I want? Nothing. I want for nothing. I have my family and those most dear to me and they have their health. What more could I possibly ask for? So this year as I sit with my family as we celebrate the holidays I will do so knowing that there are no more blessings to ask for. I have been blessed, surely, until my cup runneth over.
Merry Christmas!
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